Trip
by Part
Summary: My first fanfic. Review the awesome.
1. Chapter 1

Trip

Part

A summary

This is my first fanfic. Their were so many ideas I had on my first ones. I dabbled on topics like Grim Fandango, the Army Man series, The Re-Animator, and many other things. I ended up doing it on Dragon Ball Z though because it was a favorite show of mine as a wee tike and something I even occasionally watch today on DVD. The story is basically post GT. After Goku's hiatus, Goten goes to college at the university of Namek (Sounds stupid but it gives me an excuse to use spaceships.) and loses fuel for his ship witch can go into warp speed and get there in seconds. Since that was the only one and a prototype at that though, Yamcha, Yajirobi, Pu'ar, Oolong, and Chi-Chi have to get them (They had the shortest straws out of the bunch.). Why I picked these people out of the colorful cast of DBZ is because I wanted to get more of the old Dragon Ball feel, back when Goku wasn't really that powerful and back when he went to weird places, fought an interesting array of enemies, and back when people didn't have enough power to blow up the world. I know that we won't be able to see the amazing hairstyles of super saiyans. I know you won't be able to see Cell absorb Freeza and turn into some gelatinous monster, but this also gives me lots of more interesting situations to work with. Plus a lot more Chi-Chi being old jokes……which are always amusing. Now without further adieu, I bring you Trip.

Chapter 1

As the spaceship started to turn on, Yamcha wondered why the hell he was doing this. He wasn't getting paid, this certainly wasn't helping his job and he definitely was retired from the whole fighting deal. Yamcha was 50, along with everyone else going on this trip. He couldn't believe he lost to Gohan either, who had a straw just a few millimeters taller. It annoyed him as well, because he didn't _feel _like doing it. He was old, Chi-Chi was old, even Pu'ar was old. Yajirobi was old and fat, and Oolong was just disturbing.

"So it looks like we're going?" said Yamcha to Dr. Brief.

"Of course you are Billy," he said, "you in that little pig monkey as well."

"It's Oolong!" he snorted, "and I ain't a damn pig monkey! I'm all pig, and a little Steven Segal, but that's a long stor-"

"It's time to go!" screamed Chi-Chi.

She was right, it was time to go. They were going in the type G space ship, the ship that brought Goku to old Namek. It was a fast ship by all means but it was going to take them at least 4 months to get Goten compared to the 7 seconds it took him on his type L prototype vessel. It was very inefficient when it came to fuel consumption though, and it was out by the time it crash landed on new Namek. Yajirobi continued to eat his industrial grade sensu beans as he entered the ship. It slowly started to rumble.

"Yamcha!" screamed Pu'ar, "I'm so glad to see you!".

"Stop it Pu'ar!" said Yamcha, "I mean you're a guy! It creeps the hell out of me!"

"I wish I wasn't a guy." Said Pu'ar in a disturbing tone of voice, but no one was paying attention to him (her?) as everyone started packing getting to there positions. Yamcha sat next to Chi-Chi and Oolong in the first row. Yajirobi and Pu'ar made up the second.

"It's time to go ladies!" said Dr. Brief. He pressed the launch button, and suddenly the whole ship rumbled. They went into the air, fast. Soon they were in the darknes, the journey had just begun.

"Oops," said Dr. Brief, "I just realized I forgot to pack food and water supplies for them, hey is that the game!" and he slowly went inside to watch the game with Master Roshi.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1.4

Yamcha couldn't believe it. Not only was he in space, but he puked in his helmet while entering the atmosphere.

"Ewwwwwwie!" screamed a glass half empty with puke Yamcha, "eeeeewie!".

"Stop being a pussy." said Oolong while listening to his best of Cher cassettes.

It was a spacey dark space, and Yajirobi was eating Pork Snacklins while trying not to listen on Pu'ar's 394 reasons for having a sex change and getting plastic surgery to make her look like Venus Williams.

"I swear, it's better for your health!" said Pu'ar.

"I'll just pretend that your non-existent and in my head. In that case, WHY-WON'T-YOU-GET-OUT-OF-MY-HEAD?"

"Chi-Chi," said Yamcha, "what's for dinner?"

"Well," said the Chi-Chi "all I see is cabbage, there's nothing else! No water! No sausage! Who the hell forgets to put water in the ship?"

_back at earth_

Dr. Brief sits leisurely while watching Bulma mud wrestle with Videl when suddenly he remembers he forgot to put in water. Then he forgets just as soon as he remembers and started getting the hots for his own daughter.

_Back to the real deal_

"Great," said Oolong, "now we don't have any water and just cabbage to-wait my favorite part! Do you believe….."

Everyone stepped back from Oolong, who accidentally clicked the random warp to the nearest planet to make this story go somewhere button and they were zapped away.

When Yamcha woke up, he found himself as well as Oolong and Pu'ar and Yajirobi tied to the wall while beautiful ladies caressed them. He was okay with this at first, until he realized that the bottom half of their bodies were basically that of a cow, utters and all.

"What the crap?" said a freaked out Yamcha.

"We're the Utteracts of Hefenia," said the leader, "I am Hoof, these are my legions of ladies. We come from a planet where one out of 20000 people are males, all of them are shipped in crates and sent to the planet Dairy Queen to make their burgers so we are left alone unattended to."

"Plus we need help," said another, "we need to be milked."

"What the )#)#!" said Yajirobi.

"Count me in!" said Oolong, "when can I start!"

"Milk me!" said one.

"No, me! Me!" said another.

Soon they were all swarming the pig in a huge group. Oolong was getting the hot cow chicks he didn't deserve at all. While this commotion was going on, Yamcha broke Yajirobi free while leaving Pu'ar to get molested by millions of cow ladies.

"Help me Yamcha!" said Pu'ar, "help me!"

Yamcha was off and ready to find Chi-Chi and his ship.


End file.
